Titles
by GamingMistress
Summary: Set during Awakening. Right after the failed assination attempt, Elissa and Alistair realize they still have feelings for each other. Will they find love again? Or will their titles destroy it? See profile for full summary!
1. Chapter 1

**Titles **

**Chapter 1: Journal Entry of the Warden-Commander**

I don't own Dragon Age. It belongs to it's creators at BioWare! Please R&R!

I am the Hero of Ferelden, Champion of Redcliff, Lady Cousland of Highever, and new Warden Commander. All of these titles bring me no happiness. My parents, my sister-in-law, my beloved nephew, friends, everyone I knew and loved are dead. My brother is all I have left. It brings to me little comfort that the man responsible for this is dead, by my hands.

The carnage at Ostagar still haunts my dreams, all those lives lost for no reason. Duncan, the man who saved me is gone, all the other Grey Wardens of Ferelden, and even King Cailan. But I know they have found peace with the ending of the Blight, but that isn't what hurts me the most. All the titles in the land can't fill the emptiness of my heart. It's because of a title that I feel this way. I did what I had to do, but I still feel empty about doing it.

I lost my beloved Alistair. I should call him King Alistair, but to me he is still the goofy lovable man who claims to be raised by devout Andrastian dogs, who could also fly, with an unholy love of fine cheeses. In a time in which I had nothing, he gave me hope. He was my everything; he was my strength and my shield. I don't get to see his face anymore. The only things I have now are titles and a new tyern to rule and hopefully make prosper. I suppose I shouldn't be too upset with what happened between us. He was the one who ended this, saying we couldn't be together because he needed a Queen who can provide him with an heir. I lost the only man I ever loved because of a decision that wasn't fully mine.

I accept that I am a Grey Warden; I loved fighting darkspawn during the Blight. It gives me a sense of purpose and helps me find inner peace. I would trade anything to be traveling with him again. To see his face as we would raid kitchens in the middle of the night, fighting over who got the last piece of Orlesian cheese. To feel his arms around me when I awakened from nightmares of the darkspawn, his silent presence reassuring me that everything was alright. He was the one who ended it, so I should hate his guts for what he did to me, but it was because of a title that he did that to me. Because I was the one who believed in him the most, who believed he could be a good and wise king. Of course he needs an heir to the throne, but it hurts me that after everything we have been through together that I couldn't have been the one to provide him with that heir. So I agreed to be sent to rebuild the Grey Warden order, to find new recruits, in hopes that by doing this work, my love for my King would diminish.

I never realized how much I still truly loved and needed him, until the other day. There was an assassination attempt on my life that ended with only one of my aides receiving a scratch on his arm. Even though I was calm and collected on the outside on the inside, I was scared to death. What would have happened if I had died? It probably would be a funny story to some. The fearless Hero of Ferelden, who vanquished the Archdemon and lived to tell the tale, but then died from assassination during dessert. The thing that probably scared me the most was that if I died, I would never have seen Alistair again. I made everyone swear to me, on the blood of Andraste, that they would never ever tell him what happened here. "You must swear to me, the King will never find out. We don't need him sending more troops here; we don't want to cause anymore unrest with the people. We need to show them how strong we are, that we won't go running to the King for every little thing that happens. I am fine, the assassination attempts failed. The King must never find out!" I couldn't bear it to use his name; thankfully growing up Noble has given me an ability to be strong, even though all I want to do is cry. Seneschal Varel bowed and agreed that Alistair wouldn't find out. Captain Garvel, however looked uncertain, but he finally agreed that he wouldn't tell the King. Let's just hope he keeps his promise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Titles**

**Chapter 2: A King's Woes**

I don't own Dragon Age. It owns to the people at BioWare! If I did own Dragon Age, well there wouldn't be as many fanfics on this site!

King Alistair sat in his chambers in the royal palace at Denerim. Usually he avoided going to this place because it reminded him that he was King and he had important duties to do, important things to worry about. He had been King for almost 8 months and it was still a shock to him to be called "Your Majesty" and "Your Highness." Whenever he would be called that, he had to double check and make sure it was him they were talking to. He had important business in Denerim to take care of, even though he really didn't want to do it. Arl Eamon was insisting that he find a suitable noble woman and marry her, so that there could be an heir. He had put it off claiming he needed to figure out how to be a King first, and then marry. So he deliberately avoided the topic or would change the subject when the topic of marriage would take place.

He sighed as he looked at his window; it was a clear and moonless night. Part of him would have given anything and everything to be out hunting darkspawn again. He missed all the traveling and fighting. He was embarrased to admit it, but he had taken to sleeping on a soft mattress and sleeping under silks sheets surprisingly fast. Of course, one of the perks about being king was the selection of fine cheeses that was readily available for him to eat. It would frustrate the cook to no end when he would sneak down into the kitchens and eat the cheeses that she was saving for banquets.

However, tonight, he wasn't in a mood to be sneaking into kitchens and having his fill of cheese. He had barely even touched his dinner tonight. He was too busy thinking, which according to Morrigan was sure to take forever. Thinking about his travels always made him lonely and moody, especially when he thought about his traveling companions. There was companion in particular he couldn't stop thinking about. The woman he had loved, Elissa Cousland, with her lovely brown hair and beautiful green eyes. He tried not to think about her all the time, he was the one who had to end the relationship because he knew he needed someone who would be able to have his heir. When he only had maybe 30 years left to live, an heir was crucial. He needed to carry on his bloodline. He told himself, she probably hated him for ending this the way he did. He had loved her with all his heart and soul. She was his support; she believed he could be a good King, even when he didn't believe it himself. He sighed again and stood up, walking over to the windows and looking outside.

An elven maid came in a short time later and took away his plate, noting it had barely been touched. She was concerned for her King; he usually had her get more food. She would have been running back and forth with plate after plate of food, seeing him not eating troubled her. She made a note to tell somebody about this. She returned his plate to the kitchen. "What's this then?" The cook said annoyed, "I work hard on making his dinners, even getting the Orlesian cheeses that are hard to find for him, and he sends it back! Just because he's King doesn't mean he can't get away with this." She said annoyed as she threw the leftovers for the malbari hounds to eat, they tore into it with relish. "Well you can go up to the King and you tell him, there will be no midnight raids of my larder tonight! And you be quick about it you little slut!" The maid bowed, "Yes Mistress." She then walked to the library where she knew the Kings aides would be she hesitantly walked in.


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry it's been awhile since my last update, I've been busy and I've had a bad case of writers block! So I'm gonna thank my muses for this chapter! All of my readers and also Inon Zur for creating the soundtrack that gives me good plot ideas! Once again, I don't own Dragon Age! So please everyone, read and review!)

**Titles**

**Chapter 3: Making Plans**

Aide Eamon was talking to the new arl of Highever, Arl Fergus Cousland, the King gave Highever back to the Couslands for their loyalty during the Blight and also as a gift to Elissa. They were in a heated discussion as they talked about a letter they had received.

_My good Sers, _

_If the Warden-Commander knew I was sending this letter to you, she would be very upset with me. She had be swear on Andraste's blood that I wouldn't tell you or the King about what happened, but I couldn't keep this to myself. There was an attack on the Vigil from some of the villagers who were unhappy with some decisions that took place. They tried to assassinate her, but thankfully it was solved without her getting hurt. She wouldn't admit it to me, but she was very shaken up about this whole situation. She puts on a happy face and says that she is okay, but I think otherwise. She refuses to talk about what happened to anyone, even to the other Wardens. _

_What concerns me the most is that she also refuses to take part in any discussions that involve the Blight and anyone involved. We try to get ideas for battle strategy from what she did, but when the subject comes up, she says she has a headache and must retire for the night. I am worried about her. I think maybe the stress has gotten to her, I suggest sending someone up here to take over the arling until she has gotten over the shock of recent events. _

_Your servant,_

_Captain Garvel_

Fergus threw his fists on the table angrily, "We must do something about this! My sister was attacked!" Aide Eamon looked at him concerned, "I agree, this situation is serious, but we can't just rush up there and do something! What if the peasants see this and revolt again? We must be calm and decide what we're going to do." "This isn't good enough! We can't just sit around and not do anything! This is my sister we're talking about! She is probably hurt! We must do something about this!" Aide Eamon sighed again as he re-read the letter. "From what I knew of your sister, she was a very head strong and determined." Fergus laughed a little, "Yes that was my sister. Mother didn't think that was the proper way for a lady to act. She knew it would never help her catch a suitable husband." At that remark, both of them turned away sadly.

The maid hesitantly walked up to them, "Umm excuse me sers." She said softly as she bowed. The two men looked up at her. "What is it young lady?" Eamon asked looking at her. "Well umm, I thought you should know that King Alistair has been acting a bit umm strange lately." Eamon looked at her concerned while Fergus read the letter again. "What do you mean, strange? Is he alright?" The maid looked down, biting her lip and then looked up at him. "Well his behavior just seems a bit off right now. Ever since he came back from Amaranthine. He hasn't been eating well; in fact, I've been returning almost full plates of his dinner. I have heard from one of the chamber maids that he spends most of his time just staring out of the window, just sighing. I think something is seriously wrong with him." Realizing she might've said too much, she quickly looked back down, blushing a little, "Well at least that's I've heard." Eamon looked at Fergus, who had finished his letter, once again, shaking his head. "This is most distressing. The King not eating; Elissa becoming more and more withdrawn, if the kingdom is going to survive, something must be done. We can't risk a second Blight." Fergus nodded, "But you refuse to send somebody up there!" "I never said I was refusing to send someone up there! You know as well as I do how dangerous failed revolts can be! And without an heir to the Cousland line, we can't risk sending you!" "Well who can we send then?" Fergus yelled. "I haven't a clue as to who we can send." Fergus turned away annoyed, staring at a painting on the wall. "Umm, I hate to act out of my place good sers, but perhaps the Hero of Ferelden might open up to a friend, or some one she trusts very much. The same with King Alistair, surely there is someone they might open up to?" Fergus turned around and looked at Eamon. "Of course! Elissa writes to me and tells me how she misses Leliana and Zevran! We could send one of them to talk to her! And Alistair has always been able to talk to Wynne! Then maybe we can figure out what's wrong!" Eamon looks at the elven servant and smiles at her, "What is your name?" "My name is Aliena, ser." She looks down, blushing again. "Well Aliena, you may have just saved our King! When everything is right again, you will be granted any boon of your choice!" Aliena smiled a little, "Thank you good sers! I must go back to my duties otherwise the Kitchen Mistress will have my hide!" She made a quick bow to Eamon and Fergus and hurried back to her duties.

Fergus watched her walk away shaking his head, "I can't believe I didn't think of that! But it makes the most sense, sending friends to them to figure out what the problem is." "Hopefully this does help us. If not, then as a last resort, you will go talk to your sister, but only as a last resort Fergus!" Eamon looked sternly at Fergus as he sat down at his desk and began to write letters to Zevran, Leliana and Wynne.


End file.
